day 1

well, today is the first day i'm living on without you. one word. sucks. tot i could meet u and hug u, at least i can cry my heart out again and again. didnt. but cannot be blamed. it was just my own thinking. well yea, my ankle is now swollen again thx to the kids. but it will be fine soon. so i pondered. and realize that i am really very lonely... other than you, no one talked to me already. sent messages to a lot of ppl... either they are busy, or they didnt reply. ask ppl out its either asleep not free or cant be bothered. i guess its just my life that im always like this...

listened to a thousand years while inside toilet shitting, led out a cry. i tried to control but failed. because right now, no one can know how i feel. loving someone deeply, but you cannot have her. missing someone terribly, but you cannot see her, wishing to hold her tightly, but afraid to lose her forever. yea you dont wish to give me false hopes. but its these false hope that kept me going. any idea why i was so dead after sherilynn? because i cannot control my emotions. i cannot accept the fact that a person dear to me left me. i stood there crying and crying. yea it will heal. and yes i did. only till the day i met you. not even hong jiayi. jiayi is just a playful part of me i guess. but doesnt matter now. u made a choice. i just hope u can really cherish the time now to study.

they say seeing the person you love being happy, you will feel better and happier also. but what they didnt know is that, seeing the person you love being happy, but its not because of you, thats the saddest part. because you are no longer required in that person's life. i really really dont want to lose the person call joey. joey lim zu er... but yet it so inevitable... i just cant stop myself from loving you... i can act as if everything is fine. i can act as if i have moved on... but can i act as if i no longer have feelings for you? theres no one who could be there to comfort me or make me smile right now...

saw something very interesting today, so i thought i will say it here. if i can't be with together with you, keep me in your heart, i will stay there forever. i shall stop crying for now... tired. shall cry again the next time i think bout you.