grew up as a humble kid, knowing nothing and liking nothing other than pplaying vball. loved the colour orange under influence of sherilynn. started learning how to fight to protect her as her class got bullies. turned to computing in sec 3 as classmates are all gamers. jc 1 broke up, lost my meaning of love. couldnt pick myself up and fell deep down the pit. repeat jc 1, met joey. influenced to take care of her. loved her as hard as i could. and she did so too. learnt my mistake from sherilynn, but realize i approached things the wrong way. but things ended up too late. started eating spicy stuff, and disliked eating many food under her influence. first drank winter melon tea and started to like it. first official trip to watami with her. great place to eat. changed my personality. good temper control and after losing her. started to look at things more positively. much more not stated, these are more significant which changes my character a lot.
thankful to all those who made me a better man today
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
dear joey
hi there, how have you been? hope you are doing well right now. good luck for math test tmr :)
i know its time to move on, its time to give up. you made a choice. and guess its time i made mine too. haha dont worry bout the money spent. its spent on happy moments its all worth it. and kway chap is spelt this way not kuay. hahaha, you never learn.
gonna miss woodlands mart and the park for quite some time i guess. thankful for the great memories. haha.
well... all that i hope, is that you had enjoyed your time with me, hope to you i had done my part as a boyfriend, or as someone u loved. hope u had fun with me, hope u really felt loved from me. if u do, i'm happy and good enough already. :)
good night joey. work hard, :) i want to see you promote as well.
i want to cry in your shoulders and arms... just one last time...
thank you, for all sacrifices you have made for me. and now its time i return you this sacrifice.
i know its time to move on, its time to give up. you made a choice. and guess its time i made mine too. haha dont worry bout the money spent. its spent on happy moments its all worth it. and kway chap is spelt this way not kuay. hahaha, you never learn.
gonna miss woodlands mart and the park for quite some time i guess. thankful for the great memories. haha.
well... all that i hope, is that you had enjoyed your time with me, hope to you i had done my part as a boyfriend, or as someone u loved. hope u had fun with me, hope u really felt loved from me. if u do, i'm happy and good enough already. :)
good night joey. work hard, :) i want to see you promote as well.
i want to cry in your shoulders and arms... just one last time...
thank you, for all sacrifices you have made for me. and now its time i return you this sacrifice.
Monday, July 30, 2012
1 week 3 days
monday, its a monday, the fresh start of a week and of course school. started off with pe. tot its gonna be fun, well, yea floorball is fun, enjoyed myself. but it always have to end off badly. i collided with a classmate, and he hit my right ankle. so right now its swollen again, and its twisted leftwards. i had to push it back out myself later. freaking pain, but can't blame anyone. hahaha.
so today i realized you unfollowed me on twitter. well... not that i can blame you or be unhappy bout anything. true i'm sad that this is happening. maybe you dont even want to see my name at all. maybe the sight of my name wil irritate you or make you sad or annoyed what so ever. its just sad on my part though. but what can be done? nothing. it's not within my control.
Loneliness sucks. Really sucks... After sch 215, i've got no company, no one to talk to and no one to interact with till 8. So ive been just rotting all this while. And unexpectedly. I thought of you. Loneliness sucks so much, i feel so terrible inside, i cried. I couldnt control it.
yea i miss you, a lot. and i still can't stop thinking bout you, and how you are doing. i tried to cry, but the tears no longer drop, not because i moved on, but because i'm numb.
good to see you smiling around in school, laughing about and stuff. life's pretty much better for you now eh? just be careful not to get stressed up. jiayou joey... no matter what i'm always behind you all the way
so today i realized you unfollowed me on twitter. well... not that i can blame you or be unhappy bout anything. true i'm sad that this is happening. maybe you dont even want to see my name at all. maybe the sight of my name wil irritate you or make you sad or annoyed what so ever. its just sad on my part though. but what can be done? nothing. it's not within my control.
Loneliness sucks. Really sucks... After sch 215, i've got no company, no one to talk to and no one to interact with till 8. So ive been just rotting all this while. And unexpectedly. I thought of you. Loneliness sucks so much, i feel so terrible inside, i cried. I couldnt control it.
yea i miss you, a lot. and i still can't stop thinking bout you, and how you are doing. i tried to cry, but the tears no longer drop, not because i moved on, but because i'm numb.
good to see you smiling around in school, laughing about and stuff. life's pretty much better for you now eh? just be careful not to get stressed up. jiayou joey... no matter what i'm always behind you all the way
Sunday, July 29, 2012
moved on
im ready to let you go le. ready to move on. it no longer hurts. yes its sad that all these is happening. but well, to know u feel happy. i will feel happy for you to! hhaha ur dream came true? maybe you will kiss him in school! hahaha. boy'o'boy, sometimes i still feel horny sia. shall control and fuck a coke bottle already. HAHAHA jk~ jiayou joey! do remember me please? haha i'm gary cheung, the one who taught you how to play pool. :) and the senior who accompanied you through the first quarter of jc life :)
last song.
last song.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
cries
I miss you, but do you miss me? I love you, but do you still have feelings for me? I want to be with you and accompany you, but do you want my presence? I really... Really. Miss you
:'(
:'(
1%
im 99% sure i can't have you, but it's that 1% that keeps me going. hope you enjoyed your day at the beach. good night. sweet dreams
dear god
dear god, i've been talking to you for the past week. but what is really the answer to what am i suppose to do? i love her. i do. and i know it even though we dont talk, we dont meet or anything at all. there's jsut something keeping me from staying away from her. i can't stop thinking bout her. i can't. but when i do i see things that doesn't make me happy. well they say that if the person you love is happy then you should be happy for him/her too. is that really true? oh god... please guide me my path ahead. for i can't deny my feelings. but i can deny my intentions...
no idea
the truth is... i have no idea, what you are thinking. and i have no idea, what should i do. glad you had fun today, going to the beach. hope you are taking care of yourself still.
i love you, really really love you still. but i guess, i really can't hold on anymore do i? its not even a choice if i wish to hold on or not, right?
i love you, really really love you still. but i guess, i really can't hold on anymore do i? its not even a choice if i wish to hold on or not, right?
Friday, July 27, 2012
1 week
its been exactly a week already... its kinda bad for me still. no signs of improvement. only increased focus in studying. i wonder how's your revision going... its been very long since i heard from you le. well, right now you are ignoring every text i send to you, and i aint receiving any word from you. guess this is what we have become after all... studying alone might be the best way to study too joey. 3 hours of zero distractions might be good. and yes... its really a very lonely thing... but sometimes being alone might be the best time to think. glad to know you are laughing about and smiling. its nice to know that. honestly. :)
don't know how you feel right now. only hope that you will still think of me at times. and in a good way. thats what i hope for. at least. haha...
are things going well for you? have you been sleeping well? did you take care of yourself? are you still eating the medicine mum made you eat? are you protecting yourself? these are the question i ask myself everytime i see you. and i wonder how are you right now. hows handling the migraine? are you feeling better? why so lonely? why didnt you call me out? why didnt you ask me to pei you? maybe it isnt me, you really wanted his company. i've been thinking too much have i?
don't know how you feel right now. only hope that you will still think of me at times. and in a good way. thats what i hope for. at least. haha...
are things going well for you? have you been sleeping well? did you take care of yourself? are you still eating the medicine mum made you eat? are you protecting yourself? these are the question i ask myself everytime i see you. and i wonder how are you right now. hows handling the migraine? are you feeling better? why so lonely? why didnt you call me out? why didnt you ask me to pei you? maybe it isnt me, you really wanted his company. i've been thinking too much have i?
Thursday, July 26, 2012
not going to lie
im not going to lie. its true, ive been suppressing my feelings for the past week. and it sucks to the max. i wonder how you manage to pull through. at least now u are doing well, you have the one u like, great people around you whenever you needed them. its good for you.
all these while. all i ever wanted. is for someone to hug me. someone who can hug me. let me cry my heart out, let me whine all my unhappiness and regret that was kept within me all these time. but it ended up as just a wait. because no one truly knew how much i needed a bit more warmth and comfort. i might lose playing ball, lose playing sports. and that fear in me i've suppressed it. people say i slack i slack, i can just eat it down. why do i bother going all the way down to admiralty? so that i can walk down memory lane and go emo with it? i really miss all those places. it happened so fast and abrupt... i couldnt take it. really not. because i truly loved everything of you. and for me to move on, i will have to give up bit by bit, part by part of you. but we just did so many things together, too much i have to forget to move on. i will never forget the feel and touch of your face. though i wanted to feel it one last time. i will never forget every moment we spent together. its just so hard. maybe i did not give time enough time...
do you know how much it hurts to me when you said no one wanted you for anything? it hurts so freaking bad. because i wanted you so badly. for anything and everything. the feeling of not being wanted. the feeling of not of any use. why dont you look at me bah... no doubt i will love to have your body, for sexual desires or even as a figurine for me to hug. but your heart is more important to me, in fact the most impt thing to me. but all these, wouldn't matter anymore.
perhaps i had say too much. i wonder if all these words will mean anything to you...
or maybe now all that is left of me in you, is a pathetic crybaby, lovesick dick, but do take note. its also because of you, had i become such a lovesick. its because i truly loved you.
all these while. all i ever wanted. is for someone to hug me. someone who can hug me. let me cry my heart out, let me whine all my unhappiness and regret that was kept within me all these time. but it ended up as just a wait. because no one truly knew how much i needed a bit more warmth and comfort. i might lose playing ball, lose playing sports. and that fear in me i've suppressed it. people say i slack i slack, i can just eat it down. why do i bother going all the way down to admiralty? so that i can walk down memory lane and go emo with it? i really miss all those places. it happened so fast and abrupt... i couldnt take it. really not. because i truly loved everything of you. and for me to move on, i will have to give up bit by bit, part by part of you. but we just did so many things together, too much i have to forget to move on. i will never forget the feel and touch of your face. though i wanted to feel it one last time. i will never forget every moment we spent together. its just so hard. maybe i did not give time enough time...
do you know how much it hurts to me when you said no one wanted you for anything? it hurts so freaking bad. because i wanted you so badly. for anything and everything. the feeling of not being wanted. the feeling of not of any use. why dont you look at me bah... no doubt i will love to have your body, for sexual desires or even as a figurine for me to hug. but your heart is more important to me, in fact the most impt thing to me. but all these, wouldn't matter anymore.
perhaps i had say too much. i wonder if all these words will mean anything to you...
or maybe now all that is left of me in you, is a pathetic crybaby, lovesick dick, but do take note. its also because of you, had i become such a lovesick. its because i truly loved you.
tough road ahead
hey joey,
read your blog and tweets. i know the path ahead is so going to be painful for you and stuff, but do note, its just the beginning. you have to hang in there. just that 70 days and everything will be very much over le! dont doubt your abilities joey... first of all, being selected as captain is to prove you have what it takes to lead others and stuff. yes you need to be a role model and all that, but its key idea is to bring everyone together. you are doing it great now already. and its really really good compared to the first few weeks of election.
today, my form teachers and mdm ho ask me to meet them. to talk. as always, talk. and duh its all bout studies and stuff. and know what? mdm ho made me go to the counsellor's room and book a time slot to talk to him. and ask if there is anyway to push me in my studies and help me through. haha, seems legit, and good thing. but to me, it made me feel like i dont have the ability to judge what's right and wrong, and i need extra help to shape my mindset. you mean there's something wrong with me? like mentally retarded or dumb? hahaha its a joke, really. just so f up. teachers of aj.
so pool after that. great memories. really really great memories. hahaha, the first time we played, and times we played with elaine and huitien, played after chinese new year meal, hahaha, just wonderful all these memories. playing pool don't feel the same anymore. lol so thankful to you for all these great memories.
went home after that, walked the basement of hub, where we will walk for hours trying to find your iphone cover, your iphone screen protector, walking in to cotton on... hahaha. its damn cool and interesting that when you walk past memory lanes and images of a certain person will pop out in your mind. :)
so you wanted to close ur eyes and rest ur head on his shoulders. thats nice. :) and i believe u will love it a lot to be able to do that. jiayou in pursuing the happiness you wish for bah. dont fake ur smiles and laughter anymore joey! its not worth it to keep it inside and suffer. you trusted me and told me all bout it. if u wish to i am always here for you to tell me bout ur unhappiness. perhaps sharing ur unhappiness may be the last bit of thing i can ever do for you already. since happiness doesnt come from me. then unhappiness be given to me. you will feel better one. really. i'm just so so glad, that elaine is in your life, to be able to make things much better for you. :) really am.
so you wanted to close ur eyes and rest ur head on his shoulders. thats nice. :) and i believe u will love it a lot to be able to do that. jiayou in pursuing the happiness you wish for bah. dont fake ur smiles and laughter anymore joey! its not worth it to keep it inside and suffer. you trusted me and told me all bout it. if u wish to i am always here for you to tell me bout ur unhappiness. perhaps sharing ur unhappiness may be the last bit of thing i can ever do for you already. since happiness doesnt come from me. then unhappiness be given to me. you will feel better one. really. i'm just so so glad, that elaine is in your life, to be able to make things much better for you. :) really am.
smile joey, smile. you look really really pretty when you smile. i stare at you from afar during your lunch break. seeing you smile makes me feel slightly happier too. well, i dont know how you feel inside, but as far as i know, many will be mesmerized by the radiance of your smile. i will miss that smile. but at least i will get to see it again. :)
dont get too stressed up. its impt to relax a bit once in a while.
take care, dont let yourself fall sick. must rest well. drink more water!
goodnight joey... you are really a great part of my life. though it feels like i've been kept in an old cabinet in your heart, im glad we walked to even 5 mths. for we could have ended 7 months ago. im very thankful already. :) glad to know you say you aint gonna emo anymore. i believe you can do it. you have the determination. so just do it, for you can achieve.
not to say i am emo, not to say i am lovesick. but right now, i really wished i was the one you would want to lie on, you would talk to me when you feel sad, and i would be the one to hug you and say its ok joey, we can always try again. but no, it will never be this again. for things have changed between you and me. it hurts, really hurts terribly. it hurts even more to see you being so sad right now. i dont know if i could ever cheer you up, or if i was even given the opportunity, to make a difference in your life. if i really am just a sad and useless part of your life...
i will still remember clearly, that 2 days before the end, i will still say i love you, good night, sweet dreams, good morning. we will still have smiles and hahas in our messages. 2 days later, it changed from the hilltop to 0. yea i guess im just lamenting, and im just being emo for now. and thinking bout everything now. but since you have decided on it, i guess i should try my best to stop thinking bout it too bah. its good. good to know you will move on and find the happiness you want. even i feel happy for you, just like sherilynn, leaving me is the right choice for her. similarly, i hope all the best for you as well. :) thank you, girlfriend.
not to say i am emo, not to say i am lovesick. but right now, i really wished i was the one you would want to lie on, you would talk to me when you feel sad, and i would be the one to hug you and say its ok joey, we can always try again. but no, it will never be this again. for things have changed between you and me. it hurts, really hurts terribly. it hurts even more to see you being so sad right now. i dont know if i could ever cheer you up, or if i was even given the opportunity, to make a difference in your life. if i really am just a sad and useless part of your life...
i will still remember clearly, that 2 days before the end, i will still say i love you, good night, sweet dreams, good morning. we will still have smiles and hahas in our messages. 2 days later, it changed from the hilltop to 0. yea i guess im just lamenting, and im just being emo for now. and thinking bout everything now. but since you have decided on it, i guess i should try my best to stop thinking bout it too bah. its good. good to know you will move on and find the happiness you want. even i feel happy for you, just like sherilynn, leaving me is the right choice for her. similarly, i hope all the best for you as well. :) thank you, girlfriend.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
reasons
i will blog all these, so that in the future when i read all these again, i will remember the pain and unhappiness that i have gone through because of my mistakes. and i will make sure i wont repeat the same mistakes again. not to emo.
and joey. i wont try to fake being happy. u wont like to see me faking happy. then why bother when people are saying im acting like some fucking retard emo like some shit? no one knows how i feel inside. it still hurts. it does. just not that much thats all. and how will i feel seeing you saying all those shy and affectionate things to him. how do i feel? good? damn good. so good i just wanna close my eyes and try forget what i saw. doesnt matter to you anyway. if give up is not a good word. tell me what is, move on? they have the same contextual meaning.
and joey. i wont try to fake being happy. u wont like to see me faking happy. then why bother when people are saying im acting like some fucking retard emo like some shit? no one knows how i feel inside. it still hurts. it does. just not that much thats all. and how will i feel seeing you saying all those shy and affectionate things to him. how do i feel? good? damn good. so good i just wanna close my eyes and try forget what i saw. doesnt matter to you anyway. if give up is not a good word. tell me what is, move on? they have the same contextual meaning.
day 5
5th day, helped u in hmwk, passed you your work. felt so stranger all of a sudden. and just doesnt feel the same. no more thank you with smiles. hahaha, kinda awkward sia. but oh well. lol.
every now and then i look at my phone, and wondering again. kinda miss you scolding me and being irritated by me. hahaha, i dunno why but it just feels this way. feels like a joke right now but really, when i think bout it it really is quite funny that i will think bout these stuff. hahaha.
game of vegeterian no more le eh? haha change back to malay food stall. hahaha not bad. take care wor, dont eat so much spicy stuff under this crazy weather. but aiya, ask you dont eat spicy might as well as you to go on diet. hahaha. epic lol. hope training was fun for you. most impt is useful and helpful. jiayou bah~
haha cannot give you real hugs anymore, so give you online hugs. *hug*, hahahaha jiayou! :) hopefully i can go back to the court again bah! haha
looking at whatsapp. hahaha cant stop laughing and smiling to myself. goodnight~ wa damn cute hahahaha. cant tank. LLOLL. and all the alien looking pictures. LOL. scary sia.hahahaha! and plus all the pretty one la. pretty one not so impactful la. hahaha, the funnier ones really much better. hhahahahaaha
good night to you. sorry my words may be kinda crude.
every now and then i look at my phone, and wondering again. kinda miss you scolding me and being irritated by me. hahaha, i dunno why but it just feels this way. feels like a joke right now but really, when i think bout it it really is quite funny that i will think bout these stuff. hahaha.
game of vegeterian no more le eh? haha change back to malay food stall. hahaha not bad. take care wor, dont eat so much spicy stuff under this crazy weather. but aiya, ask you dont eat spicy might as well as you to go on diet. hahaha. epic lol. hope training was fun for you. most impt is useful and helpful. jiayou bah~
haha cannot give you real hugs anymore, so give you online hugs. *hug*, hahahaha jiayou! :) hopefully i can go back to the court again bah! haha
looking at whatsapp. hahaha cant stop laughing and smiling to myself. goodnight~ wa damn cute hahahaha. cant tank. LLOLL. and all the alien looking pictures. LOL. scary sia.hahahaha! and plus all the pretty one la. pretty one not so impactful la. hahaha, the funnier ones really much better. hhahahahaaha
good night to you. sorry my words may be kinda crude.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
cruel truth
things feel like the past. i will help u with hmwk, give you ideas, help you print the assignments. but the sad and hard truth is. gary, it aint the same anymore... stop dreaming already bah... haha i guess. so i shall just stay in my living room to do my chem. staring at my phone, and wondering if there will be a time when u will ever call me like the past. i guess its just my willful thinking. gary, you have been thinking too much already. i guess. didnt expect... i will still tear at this stage
heartbeat... really been beating all these while
good night bah... :)
good night bah... :)
day 4
so its the 4th day. kinda interesting you talked to me first. haha kinda unexpected. but oh well. the moment i talk and it annoys you straightaway already. how interesting can it get. lol. boring~ its damn boring~ school life is damn boring~ hahaha no training even more boring~ reminds me of vivian vlog. LOL. omg. oh well. hahaha
jiayou bah, drink bbt no pearl lol. control yourself wor. dont drink so much :)
physical warmth. do you need it? as much as i do? or even more than i do? and i will still be here for you. lol.
good night :) take care of your flu
shall wait for my checkup, which will determine if i can ever play ball again. haha, how anxious to know the results. i wanna train so badly
chiong hmwk ah!!! finish chem , physics and gp by tonight! then math tmr. oh boy, im the Chiong-ster. or should i say the Cheung-ster. HAHA lame~ damn lame cant tank. no wonder i cannot walk properly now. too lame liao. hahahaha
jiayou bah, drink bbt no pearl lol. control yourself wor. dont drink so much :)
physical warmth. do you need it? as much as i do? or even more than i do? and i will still be here for you. lol.
good night :) take care of your flu
shall wait for my checkup, which will determine if i can ever play ball again. haha, how anxious to know the results. i wanna train so badly
chiong hmwk ah!!! finish chem , physics and gp by tonight! then math tmr. oh boy, im the Chiong-ster. or should i say the Cheung-ster. HAHA lame~ damn lame cant tank. no wonder i cannot walk properly now. too lame liao. hahahaha
Monday, July 23, 2012
haiz
thank you for still loving me. and definitely thank you for letting me hug you. its sad to let you go. i couldnt bear to... but, if its what you want i have to let you go dont i? haha just an old song i used to listen. because i am an emo freak. lol. :) yea, love you... but will it matter to you? i don't know...
haha good bye is always the hardest to say. how much i yearn to look at you, but how much i try to avoid looking at you. i dont wanna see the face of being annoyed. i wanna see the face of smiling. yet, i didnt have the courage to. felt so awkward. so stranger, waving to you at the mrt station. i tried to hold all my emotions... well glad i did. :) hope u have a great night with elaine tonight
haha listened to music and started snapping. then remembered you dont know how to snap. lol. jiayou in learning bah! the term 'ok can' and 'sure' has already been lost already.
cup noodles never tasted the same. haha, neither does playing pool been as interesting already.
3rd day
I may be a lovesick dick. I may be a fucker to you. But now I still cry, I still fight. Because I cared and cherish what we have. You can scold me now, you can make me as down as whatever. But it's all because I still miss you do I feel the pain. Its because I cared for what we both have. I really do miss what we have. But, I guess it can no longer be helped... Im sorry for making you piss everyday in the morning, spoiling your day and everything... But still, I never meant to do it
Just something for you to ponder bout. If you did miss me, have you thought of what it will be to accept me again and see the difference? Will you feel happier? Lol. If you did, but the answer is no because you didn't dare to, ask yourself, have you given yourself the chance to love him or let him love you back? Have you thought of accepting him if he really did change for the better? How you really really missed him? And do you still have feelings for him.
I always ask myself all these whenever sherilynn came back to me. And its cause of these I learnt what it means to give the person a chance to love again. :)
Just to think through only. Not a threat. Not an advice. Just a passing remark
I always ask myself all these whenever sherilynn came back to me. And its cause of these I learnt what it means to give the person a chance to love again. :)
Just to think through only. Not a threat. Not an advice. Just a passing remark
Sunday, July 22, 2012
last time
hahaha. study hard bah. if theres still a chance im still opeing my doors to you. jiayou bah
end of day 2
haha, so things are getting more and more emotional. but less and less painful. yea i walked through the best memories of you and me. tears are bound to drop. i know. so i prepared 4 packets of tissue! HAHA come on man praise me. im so smart. lol. no la its called preparation. but its impossible to avoid feeling the pain. lol. the pain of not being able to enjoy life with you already. haha. meh. didnt do hmwk this entire weekend, gonna be screwed when school open! HAHA DEAD!!!
well it might be the last few times i will be allowed to say goodnight, sweet dreams and i love you to you le. hahah. well the last one is already not allowed le. guess moved on without me. i will try my best, to fix my feelings. and to be able to face u again. whether u are with anyone, smiling or frowning. i will try my best. hahaha
good night girl. thanks for being such a marvelous part of my life. you've been great. :)
good luck in life bah. whatever thats left for me to say. its in my mind. if we ever get to meet. then i will say. haha night night girl!
i cried. even as i say all these. but. you wont care anymore. that's why i smile, to let u feel better.
well it might be the last few times i will be allowed to say goodnight, sweet dreams and i love you to you le. hahah. well the last one is already not allowed le. guess moved on without me. i will try my best, to fix my feelings. and to be able to face u again. whether u are with anyone, smiling or frowning. i will try my best. hahaha
good night girl. thanks for being such a marvelous part of my life. you've been great. :)
good luck in life bah. whatever thats left for me to say. its in my mind. if we ever get to meet. then i will say. haha night night girl!
i cried. even as i say all these. but. you wont care anymore. that's why i smile, to let u feel better.
day 2
Its worse... I didnt even sleep at all. Terrible horrible vegetable. And now im at the place where I feel comfortable. Counted and walked 319 steps as usual, looking and counting the number of trees by the roadside, seeing if the school has been repainted, looking out for snails in case I step onto them. Avoiding bicycles on pedestrian walkways. Every step I take is a different image of you appearing in my mind. Not the image reflecting character. But the image of what we might be doing.
So I stood here, in deep thought again. Its so interesting... How I wish I had an iPad to read manga. How I wish I have a wintermelon tea to accompany. And how I wish... Its just.. Wishes. So I thought again, breakfast. Gary do you want to eat kway chap. Yes dad I do. But not khatib one. I know of a place where I love the kway chap there. Not because it's very tasty. But because every mouth of it can make you feel happier. Im gonna miss woodlands mart. Im going to miss the park. Im going to miss sending you home. Oh how much more...
haha block 734, i wonder if we will meet again. i wonder if i will get to walk to your lift lobby again. i wonder if i will get to stare at the window panes before taking a cab back again. its all wondering and wondering. hahaha i lied. i didnt go away today at all. i stayed there till 12+, until i felt i was ready to meet society again. went down, and walked a few rounds. walked woodlands mart, see if the bbt uncle was there, see if the atm machines are still as crazy as ever. walk back to see the park, to see mei mei's tuition centre. and last but not least. to the bus stop, where i can stare at your windows...
after that left. ate ice cream, before heading to amk and attempted to study at mac. failed. the moment i eat a fries, i think bout what ever that happen at mac. we will go home late and eat mac after training. we will wake up early in the morning go admiratly place eat, we will skip schools and stay at mac. hahaha. and its fries that rush all these memories into me.
dessert shop, entered. and tried the honeydew sago. not bad, kinda cooling. hahaha good recommendation by you. :) a very good one too. and thats bout it today. quite a fruitful day. but when school starts gonna get screwed damn badly. hahahaha
So I stood here, in deep thought again. Its so interesting... How I wish I had an iPad to read manga. How I wish I have a wintermelon tea to accompany. And how I wish... Its just.. Wishes. So I thought again, breakfast. Gary do you want to eat kway chap. Yes dad I do. But not khatib one. I know of a place where I love the kway chap there. Not because it's very tasty. But because every mouth of it can make you feel happier. Im gonna miss woodlands mart. Im going to miss the park. Im going to miss sending you home. Oh how much more...
haha block 734, i wonder if we will meet again. i wonder if i will get to walk to your lift lobby again. i wonder if i will get to stare at the window panes before taking a cab back again. its all wondering and wondering. hahaha i lied. i didnt go away today at all. i stayed there till 12+, until i felt i was ready to meet society again. went down, and walked a few rounds. walked woodlands mart, see if the bbt uncle was there, see if the atm machines are still as crazy as ever. walk back to see the park, to see mei mei's tuition centre. and last but not least. to the bus stop, where i can stare at your windows...
after that left. ate ice cream, before heading to amk and attempted to study at mac. failed. the moment i eat a fries, i think bout what ever that happen at mac. we will go home late and eat mac after training. we will wake up early in the morning go admiratly place eat, we will skip schools and stay at mac. hahaha. and its fries that rush all these memories into me.
dessert shop, entered. and tried the honeydew sago. not bad, kinda cooling. hahaha good recommendation by you. :) a very good one too. and thats bout it today. quite a fruitful day. but when school starts gonna get screwed damn badly. hahahaha
Saturday, July 21, 2012
end of day 1
the night is coming to an end. but my soul is not resting. my eyes are tired, but my mind is not. theres just so many things to think bout. u probably might be disgusted with me being emotional, being a dick or just plainly wont care anymore. but i can only say this is already much better. because at least i still communicate with people. there's just simply... too many memories i can think of, and wish to relive. i smiled, but i cried after that. well, at least after crying i feel better. more numb i suppose. haha off to the beach alone tmr. the only place where i can really scream my heart out.
our first conversation...
our first conversation...
- this is a hack i swear. ok not. anyways just to tell u try to do a drop ball when spiking ballsthat are close to the net... cos its easy to getblocked.anyways enjoy chinese new year!
21 JanuaryJoey Lim- you are?
- oh gosh if I talk bout vball definitely someone u know. Ok im Gary!!!!!! As shown by the name above. Maybe they introduced me as ah peh to u all
21 JanuaryJoey Lim- nope, i dont know you. Hahaha.
- oh youre the yellow shirt dude.
- Hahahaha. Oh yes. I'm the yellow shirt one. Hahaha. Man. But dont call me yellow man. Cos... I dunno. Yellow man... Makes me feel like a banana?
- Oh, I'm definitely calling you yellow man. Thanks for the idea! Hahaha
- Thanks for your advice, but I don't dare drop ball cos mr chua like damn particular about my spiking.
- Hahaha oh gosh now I have 4 nick names in the girls team tyvm. Hahaha. Hmmm. Ok Wed wear blue already. Get away from a banana. how's training today?
- Always ask me "LOCK LOCK FASTER FASTER"
- okay la. Hahaha. No muo qi yet leh,
- Needs time.
- I too long never play ball also
- Damn lousy now
- Hahahahahahaha. Eh now that u remind me of it its really true. Rofl. Hmmm. But what he said is true. Errr... U got the jump height. Just need to lock faster the ball will spi. Down much faster. haha muo qi? its trained thru gossiping and having meals together. on the court will only stay silent as ppl won't know who has got the initiative to take the ball.
- Wa I suddenly feel like im a great story teller. Ask huicheng haha. I used to tell stories
- I know. Trying to work on that. Shoulder hurts pretty badly so need to do sth about it soon. Haha you're damn weird, you sent me a fb msg yet you didn't add me as a friend? Hahaha
- Yeah. All of us black face today, last part haha.
- Hahaha u also dunno me u might reject mah. I using phone now. K wait hahaha. Hmmm. Shoulder hurts?? Ok I know why Liao!! Ur spiking technique is wrong. U are trying to use strength instead of moving ur armssa!! I guess? But why shoulder painn??? Muscle ache? Lol. That explains why Kimberly massaged for u
- No la. Damn old injury, la dao ma. Hahaha yeah Kimberly damn cute
- Hahaha, you're a stalker!
- Hey im not a stalker. Whatever that happened on court I could see de mah. Haha while im searching for loopholes in the formation these are the interesting little things I will see. Haha woah. Kimberly is a very noisy girl. Once she starts talking she can't stop. Wonder why is she so quiet today. Hmmm....
- Oh haha got see a doc before??
- Haha Nope. Won't die la, can ren.
- Haha oh well your choice. Just don't be like me. Tot can ren my knee injury but it give way during finals last year and im almost immobile. Hahaha. Wa so late le still dont sleep??
- I just got back home,
- Waiting for my hair to dry. Haha
- Take care I'll take care
- OHHH YOU'RE THE GUY I OWNED WHEN I SPIKE ZHI XIAN TODAY
- Hahahaha
- WA party until so jialat?? Lol. Don't be like Hong jiayi everyday sleep at 4can already. Scary eh shheesh. Haha yea. Gotta take care man. One injury will lead to another easily.
- I went to work can?!!!! I don't party
- Waaa work?? So qing Lao? Work where?? As what?? Haha last day le ah?? Damn!!!!!!! Eeek? Party as in.... Dinner or outing.... Not clubbing or what... Hahaha. Haiyo so serious
- I v guai one
- Nope 28th last day!
- Clinic assistant at serangoon gardens
- Waaaa really?? Haha if guai why so late.reach home?? Ok what clinic. Hahaha whr I mean. Oh boy this gonna be fun
- Serangoon gardens! I ended work at 1030
- And I live pretty far awayfrom there so come home late lor
- Ooo. Address!!! Maybe one day I happy mood I go pay a visit. Hahaha. Oh man. Damn fun. Hmmm... How do you find ur team anyway. Just be honest. Cos when it comes to commenting im the master
- I mean address of work place. Not home. I cannot ask girl home where unless I boyfriend lol
how's training today?
- No way I'm telling you, hahaha! You're not visiting me when I'm working. Not ever
- Hmm. It's alright, the girls there quite bimbo HAHA
- Its fun to be w them
- But skills wise, not very stable,
- Not easy to play w them,
- Hahahaha man nvm. Some way I shud be able to find out. But nvm bout that. Serangoon kinda far for me too. Lol. Yes I agree. Esp ur next year same batch teammates. The what queeniehumblebeeeeeeeeeee. Errrrr Vivian omg and xin pei hahaha. Imba-ness
- What imba?
- The bimbo part ah?
- Ya ya ya. Haha I can't find anyone I know currently who will do things to their extend.heard of a vlog thing they posted??
- I only know Vivian had a vlog
- Shekeep pestering me to do one on my blog also lol
- Hahaha. Its not only her. Its the 3of them. Ok whatever that is said here cannot be spread.ok? Dun want any troubles within yr team. Hhahaha.
- Hahaha yeah sure hahaha nope idk
- In fact the boys team have watches all the videos they posted. And as a matter of fact.... They find it a joke. So dont do it!!
- I told them I'm never doing a vlog
- Damn chui
- HAHA
- You guys don't like them ah?! So bad
- So mean Iean
- So mean I mean***
- ok good. Haha. I have used a programme to dl their vid into my second phone and the guys are like watching it everytime before training so that they could get a good laugh and enter training with enthusiasm. Haha. Thankful to them for helping me do my job of entertaining them
- Haha we never said anything bout don't like them ah
- ...... So mean
- SO MEAN
- Haha if they pester u just say no webcam haha
- hahaha! No way I'm vlogging don't worry
- Noooooo. Its called utilizing resources for better purposes.
- Hahaaha if u vlog we got more things to watch le. Weeeeeeeee. Hahaha. Ok shhh. U are the only one in the girls team who knows the boys team saw their Vids lol. Ok enough of bimbotic. How bout skills wise lol
- Hahaha NO
- Thanks im honored
- Skills? Not v stable,
- Don't think they're good la lol,
- Honestly.
- Wa honored? Hahaha means u gor a responsibility on hand!! Eh... Well. Offense wise count on huicheng. Their libero left cos results so defense will drop. Hhaha. Don't compare them with huitien they all. Can't compare de. Haha. Well... The only thing I can say is... Do what you must do. Don't regret. Haha. Its like now my boys team... I feel that they are heck a neck lousy. And im not so tired of talking to them. They need prove to me they dont need me to play.
- You jc2?
- Sad to say no. Played too much last year. I retained. Same as crystal. But well. Guess it's a fact I must accept?? hmm. Wa u very evil eh. I typed a compo u reply mw with 5letters and 1number
the saddest part. is to know how things are becoming. jy bah... no matter what you say to me just now... it doesnt really matter. what really matters to me, its that we really loved each other before. hope we did. Well... I just pray that u will be happy. I really do. Same story for sherilynn. Im glad she's moved on and happy now. But it still hurts me. Good luck joey. Thank you for being the biggest part of my life for 5months. I may have been whiny and all stuff. But what I really do, is I did love you with all my heart. :) smile. For you are pretty with it.