heartbroken. really heartbroken

joey.... where is the joey that i love? what is becoming of her? why one incident change her so much? love died? no it won't.

you know what it feels to be unable to help the person that you love?
you know how it feels to be unable to hold the person that you love?
you know what it means to be unable to love somebody that you really love?
you know what it feels to be making a CHOICE whether to love someone or not?

we have been together for 5 mths. 5 freaking months and now this stunt comes around again. i dont believe your love is lost. i believe is that u are hurt by what he says. love isnt lost. it never is, you just couldn't bring yourself to look at it again. you are afraid of being hurt by it. but the question is, have i ever hurt you? i never intended to hurt you at all. i never in my fucking life every wish to hurt you. i love you so much it hurts me even more that you are saying you gotta make a choice. what am i to you? so the past 5 mth you have been playing with me? is that what that means? no i dont believe. i love joey, and i know she loves me, but whats happening? why is this happening? im crying over and over again. but since that monday i stopped crying. i really thought things are going to get better. but what's this? its not getting better, i fear its getting worse.

i know it might seem like its all bout me me and me. but have you given urself the chance to let it go? for someone who no longer gives a damn bout you, have you ever thought of letting it go? that person who no longer treasures you, no longer worthy of love from you? you aren't even giving yourself a chance to recover.

what so you dont want me to love you anymore? you dont want me to hold you anymore? you dont want me to send you home anymore? if u say so at this instance, i will let you go. i would. because i have already given you my heart and everything, its yours to keep and yours to throw. but let me tell you this, love that is once deeply appreciated by the other party can never be easily forgotten. it will forever leave a scar there. a scar you will wish to forget. but its a scar it won't go away. memories dont fail. it is whether you are able to pick yourself up and not let yourself get hurt from those memories. that's the best way to move on in life. how to do that depends on yourself.

even with all this, i still love you, terribly. good night my love.